How to De-Escalate Tense Situations
A quick guide to staying grounded, safe, and effective in high-stress moments.


1. Stay Grounded


✔ Regulate Yourself First
Take slow, deep breaths — calm energy is contagious.
Plant your feet, soften your shoulders, and keep your tone neutral.
Remind yourself: You can’t control others, only your response.


✔ Use Non-Threatening Body Language
Relax your hands and jaw.
Keep palms visible and open.
Maintain a safe distance and avoid sudden movements.


2. Recognize Tense Situations


Before stepping in, notice the signs that a situation is becoming charged. Early awareness gives you more options to de-escalate.


✔ Watch for Physical Cues


  • Clenched fists, crossed arms, pacing, or invading space
  • Raised voices, rapid speech, or abrupt silence
  • Tightened facial expressions, flushed skin, or trembling


✔ Listen for Emotional Shifts


  • Repetition or circular arguments (“You’re not listening!”)
  • Absolutes (“You always—” or “You never—”)
  • Signs of fear, frustration, or humiliation under anger


✔ Notice Environmental Triggers


  • Crowds forming or filming
  • Presence of law enforcement or counter-protesters
  • Bottlenecks in space — exits blocked, people trapped, heat building


✔ Check Your Gut
Your body often senses tension before your brain names it.
If you feel your chest tightening or your breath shortening, pause and ground yourself before acting.


3. Read the Room


Assess first, act second. Identify what’s escalating:
Is it a misunderstanding?
Aggression from a counter-protester?
A disagreement between activists?
Look for allies — sometimes stepping in as a team works better.


4. Use Calm, Clear Communication


Verbal De-Escalation Tools
Speak slowly and clearly in a calm voice.
Use “I” statements:
✅ “I hear you. Let’s talk over here.”
❌ “You’re wrong. Stop yelling.”
Acknowledge feelings without agreeing or disagreeing:
“I see this matters to you.”
“Let’s figure this out safely.”


5. Create Space & Options


Offer an exit: “Let’s step to the side and talk.”
Redirect attention: lead the person away from triggers or crowds.
If someone is being aggressive, don’t match their energy — lower yours.
If safe, involve marshals or organizers — that’s what they’re there for.


6. Keep Everyone Safe


Don’t escalate: avoid insults, sarcasm, or force unless absolutely necessary.
If law enforcement arrives, don’t argue — step back and observe quietly.
Document incidents if safe to do so, but avoid turning tense moments into a spectacle.
If things turn violent, prioritize evacuation over confrontation.


7. After the Moment


Check in with everyone involved — offer water, grounding, and space to breathe.
Share what happened with organizers so patterns can be addressed.
Reflect: What worked? What could have gone differently?


Quick Reminders

You don’t have to “win” — you just have to keep people safe.
Calm energy de-escalates faster than confrontation.
You’re not alone — lean on your team and your community.